I hate my husband.

Okay no I don’t, but he is a better golfer than I am and I don’t think that’s fair. Let me start by saying that we are not a “typical” couple, as least like many I have run across, where the guy was big in to golf and started playing when he was younger. Girl meets guy and girl promptly begins playing golf with him so she doesn’t have a ghost for a boyfriend. If she’s lucky she gets into it too and has her own game with a league and friends to play with on her own.

That’s not how it happened for me. My husband Chris started playing with friends from work and became hooked. The next summer he set up a net in the yard because he wanted to practice to get better. I was slightly jealous but decided that I would give it a few swings to see if I liked it too. I fell in love with the game and it was great because we were absolute partners in crime.

He had played 3 or 4 rounds of golf before I took up the game. To this day he is a better golfer than me, by about 5 to 10 strokes per round. ARRRGGHHH!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY THOUSANDS OF BALLS I HAVE HIT IN PRACTICE? What makes it worse is that Chris is no kind of natural athlete. He practices at golf too, but he has to think about what his body is doing. Not to toot my own horn, but physical coordination has never been a downfall of mine. So why is he better than me? He hasn’t hit more balls than I have. He’s not a more gifted athlete. He certainly doesn’t have more time because his job as a computer engineer is so demanding and he works thousands of hours.

HAND-EYE COORDINATION

Bruce Jenner commended Usain Bolt on being a fantastic runner. However, Jenner pointed out that Bolt is not the greatest athlete of this time? I agree with Bruce Jenner on this. Can he throw a javelin? Sink a free-throw from the line? Hit a fast ball? Put top-spin on a tennis ball? The reason Usain Bolt is not the greatest all-around athlete is that athleticism is not confined solely to physical speed. One must have timing, coordination, mental strength, kinesthetic awareness, and, yes, hand-eye coordination.

BACK TO HATING MY HUSBAND

As a young child I did Ballet. Yes, I wanted to be a ballerina – I loved taking classes, being on stage. That didn’t work out but I had already had 10+ years of fairly intense training before I realized it wasn’t happening. In ballet one has to do a lot of intense physical movement while making it all look effortless. Runners grimace, tennis players grunt, discus throwers yell, weightlifters pop veins in their neck and look absolutely crazy. In contrast, ballet dancers are often working just as hard, but since it is artistic, and beautiful, they must work hard AND keep a pretty face. What about the arms? Ornamental. In ballet the arms exist solely to frame the face, head, and body. They don’t help you move and most certainly don’t catch, hit, or throw a ball or swing a stick. Chris played baseball. From a very young age he practiced the art of timing the swing of a baseball bat, with the ball leaving the pitcher’s hand. Over and over again he practiced swinging the bat to make contact with the moving ball. His dad was the coach so not playing wasn’t an option. Then, in junior high and high school, he made a run at the tennis team. That didn’t work out for him but he still spent summer after summer after summer practicing hitting balls with the racquet by himself or with friends.

I never got such practice at hand-eye coordination. My kinesthetic awareness is great thanks to all those ballerina headmistresses rapping their canes and counting loudly over the music, but my hand-eye skill was never cultivated.

It’s so unfair! He’s got a “real” job! I have a bunch of things I am interested in aside from being a mom (most importantly Golfermoms) but I’m not exactly bringing home the bacon. I’m the one that wanted to be the professional amateur golfer.

I hate my husband.

Okay no I don’t, but keep in mind ladies that he might be better than you because like my husband he may have been more developed in sports as a kid than you were.♣

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